The Auditor

We naturally get nervous around those people who have control over our careers, managers, CEOs, supervisors. Rachel works for a large insurance company in Portland, it's a branch of a major national brand. Every year they have an auditor from the parent company come in to make sure they are following best practices and to see if they can tighten up any processes. Well this auditor is the same one every year and Rachel tells us that the amount of nervousness and stress he causes every year is unnatural. 

Portland Maine

By all accounts this man is extremely nice, “I’m not sure why he makes us all so nervous,” Rachel said. “He brings in coffee and a big box of munchkins every morning for the week or so he is here. He never raises his voice, and is respectful of our personal spaces. He cracks jokes and yet we all feel this existential dread when he is around.” You might be able to chalk this up to nervousness about losing one’s job, but Rachel’s branch is never recommended for restructuring or layoffs, in fact they are often upheld as a national exemplar. “He never suggests changes and often even takes extensive notes on how we do things so they can replicate it elsewhere. But still no one feels comfortable around him.”

He can't be that bad if he brings donuts right?

Rachel told us of a time that a younger employee, a new hire, was alone in the break room with this auditor. “Stevie couldn’t even look him in the eye, he had a cup of coffee but he couldn’t even drink from it his hand was shaking so bad. The whole time the auditor just stood there smiling at him and drinking his coffee in small sips. After he is gone we all just feel so drained, management who get just as nervous as we do, relaxes the dress code and lowers quotas, so we can relax a bit. I’ve worked for other insurance companies and there is stress when one of the higher ups comes around, but never to this degree, it's crazy and weird.”

We reached out to others at this company that Rachel has asked us not to name here. Other employees at this branch and others all over the country opened up to us about this auditor. Everyone confirmed that he seems like a nice guy never getting angry or confrontational, always telling silly jokes and bringing in treats. He should be well liked but everyone is glad when he leaves and reports feelings of terror and anxiety in his presence. No one can explain why. 

Is he using some kind of psychic field to make people afraid?

Is this auditor human? Does he have some kind of psychic power or field around him that causes others to cower in fear? Could he be an emotional vampire? It is hard to tell, if you have experiences with this individual or another like him please reach out to us. 

Stay safe out there, Maine!