The Whet One

Good Afternoon, MMers! Today’s story comes from up in Kennebec County. As I’m sure you know, lakes are incredibly prominent in our state, and Kennebec is no different. Even though it’s known for lakes like Messalonksee, and even the mouthful that is Cobbosseecontee, we recently heard a story about a lake that isn’t on any official map. And while we aren’t cartographers here at Malevolent Maine, we wanted to find more information. 

So, Tom and Lucas decided to trek up to Winthrop to meet with Barry Doldorff, a life timer up “theyah.” Barry was the man who contacted us about the strange experience he had while riding around local trails on his four-wheeler. We apologize in advance for the way the dialogue is written, but we wanted to get the tone of the conversation as accurately as possible.

“So you were riding...and then what?” asked Lucas.

“Well I was ridin’ pretty quick on em trails up heyah, and I’ll tell you what. I was passin’ through the normal areas and seein’ the lakes and the ponds ayuh. But I swear to Jesus, I couldn’t friggin believe what I saw when I whipped ‘er around Jackson’s Bend. It was a lake, and I ain’t never seen a lake there before. I thought I was havin’ one of those....what’s that called?"

“A hallucination?”

“Yeah! A halcyonation, or whatevah. Seens I never seen that lake before, and I might've been seein' stuff, I decided to hightail to back into town to get my buddy, Donny Smith. 'Donny!' I screams at the top of my lungs. 'Donny, get your ass out heyah!' Well, you see Donny has a bit of a drinkin' problem and he was passed out on the couch. Luckily for me, the back door was open I was able to go right inna'"

"So, you were able to get Donny to wake up for his stupor?"

"Yeah morealess. I went right inna kitchen and grabbed some cold water fromma faucet. Threw it right on Donny's face. It was 3PM for Chrissakes, and the sonuvabitch was drunk as a friggn' skunk! Well, anyways, I got em up and got em on my back of my wheelah, Donny couldn't ride himself as he was smashed two ways from Wednesday."

"So you got back to the lake, and then what?"

"NOTHIN'! Friggin' nothin'. I went right around Jackson's Bend just like before, but there wasn't nothing theyah. Then Donny got real mouthy about me getting him wet and forcing him to come out heyah with me, so I brought him back before he got reaaal friggin' mad."

"But you said that you saw a creature? That it come from the lake?"

"Oh yuh, but that was aftah. You see after I brought Donny back, I went back to my double-wide and opened up a bottle of Jimmy Beam I got down at the Hannafahds. Well, I bet I bout drank halfa bottle before passin' out on the couch."

"But then you saw something?"

"Friggin' right I did! Right around 2:45 AM I hear something inna kitchen. I was like a slippery slidey sound. By the time I got up and went in and got the light on I couldn't see nothing except for my floor was all wet, like someone just moppedah up real good. Then I got my flashlight and whet out the back door and I was shinin' it on my shed. Now I may have been halcyonating again, but I swear I seens like a man-fish or something. I tried to follow it, but I was too drunk to get on the wheelah, so I went back inna house and locked every lock I got. Next mornin' I woke up with a real killah headache, but that ain't stop me from goin' right back to Jackson's Bend, and there it friggin' was again! Except this time there were lily pads all ovah the place, and there was even a sign nailed to a tree. It said 'Whet Lake.' But not not 'wet' like watah, it was spelled W-H-E-T. Well I decided to walk right up to the watah line and see what was what. I ain't never heard of no 'Whet Lake,' and it sure as hell wasn't heyah when I brought Donny by. I walked right upta water and then I saw some lily pads move. It was like somethin' was under em startin' to come up. Well, I didn't wait much longah. I got right back on my wheelah and started movin'. But then I hear somethin'. It was like a child screechin' but it pierced through my head - I fell offa my rig and it slowly came to a stop by a tree on the side of the trail. I turned around when it stopped and there it was. The friggin' fish-man was staring at me with red eyes and all. I got right back up and got on my wheelah. I heard the scream again but I braced myself and rode as hahd and fast as I could, ya know?"

"Have you gone back since?"

"Frig no! No way. I ain't goin; back theyah. That's why I contacted you guys! I heard about you from my Nephew, Tylah. He's inna that weird intahnet stuff, and I figured why not?"

Well, MMers, we decided that it was time for us to see this "Whet Lake" for ourselves. Instead of riding out on a ATV, we decided to approach Jackson's Bend on foot as quietly as possible. When we arrived at the supposed spot of the lake, we were disappointed, but not surprised, to see nothing there but trees. We looked around for a bit, but there was nothing special of note, until Lucas pointed out something that he found about 50 feet off of the trail. It was a sign, worn down from the elements for many years. Even in its current state, we were still able to manage to figured out what the sign said. "Whet Lake."

While we aren't sure how this sign got there or if a lake could have ever have been located where the trees are now, we'd be willing to bet that this experience wasn't simply a hallucination by Barry, or a "halcyonation," as he would so eloquently put it.

If you are even out on the trails in or around Winthrop and come around Jackson's Bend, keep a close eye out for "Whet Lake," and whatever monster dwells within. Stay safe out there, Maine!

Is this the "Whet One" Barry Saw?